001...Revenge of the Big - Talkers
by druggedcat
Summary: Duo and Quatre are kicked out of the room for talking and a battle engages! Duo and Quatre burn the other pilots clothes!


Look! My writing gets 2 be bigger than the other writing! (can you tell I'm drunk yet?). Anyways here's the story!

Rated: R for swearing, nudity, and yaoi

RevengeoftheBig - Talkers

"Naa~a, Heero! It was really kakkoi! The whole place blew sky high!" 

Heero shot a disgusted look at Duo. 

"Omae o korosu." 

Duo sweat-dropped. 

"Heero... you always say that! Don't be so cruel!" 

Halfway across the room..... 

"Don't you think so, Trowa?" 

"Quatre... we have a mission tomorrow. Try to get some sleep now, ok?" 

Quatre's eyes teared up. 

"But, Trowaaa~aa! 'Love Story' is a good movie! We should watch it! Who needs sleep!" 

Wufei suddenly rose from one darkened corner. 

"URUSAI! Maxwell, Winner, cease you incessant chatter! I need sleep!" 

Duo sneered. 

"O~Oh, Justice Boy rears his ugly head. We shouldn't disturb his beauty sleep, should we Quatre?" 

Wufei turned a bright red, anger chocking his words. Quatre looked slightly chastened. 

"Duo! That wasn't very nice..." 

"You dare to mock me, Maxwell!?!?! Both of you leave! Dare not to show you cowardly faces in hear again!" 

"Omae! Quatre didn't do anything!" 

"He talked! Both of you are out!" 

Quatre sniffed, and gathered his stuff together. 

"Quatre!?! You aren't just going to take this, are you?" 

"We were talking, Duo." 

Duo rolled his eyes disgustedly. 

"I'm not going." 

Heero stood, growling. 

"Yes, you are. Now." 

Now Duo started to cry, turning SD and glomping Heero's legs. 

"But Heeee~eeeeeeee~eeeeeeee~eeeeroo!" 

Heero covered his ears in pain. 

" A-ack! You sound like Relena!" 

Quatre broke into SD mode too, clinging to one of Trowa's arms. 

"Ne, Trowa, you won't kick me out, will you?" 

Trowa's face softened at the sight of the overly kawai Quatre, but Wufei appeared behind him. 

"Don't give in to his evil schemes, Barton!" 

Trowa glanced hesitantly at Quatre, then Wufei. Finally (and mostly due to the cramp in his arm Quatre was giving him) he scooped up the SD figure. 

"Gomen nasai, Quatre." 

Then Trowa bundled the SD blond under one arm and the blond's stuff under the other. He opened the door and gently set him outside. He shut the door firmly. Inside, a squealing voice could be heard. 

"No! I don't wanna leave Heero! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!" 

Wufei's voice cut into the whining. 

"Shut up! And let go of Yuy!" 

"NOOOOOOO!" 

There was a sound of scuffling from behind the thick door. Quatre peered at it intensely. After a few minutes of struggling, Duo, still SD, was tossed out the door. A few seconds later, his stuff was thrown out after him and hit him squarely on the head. Duo rubbed the new sore spot, then grinned. 

"I held on pretty long. Almost a good five minutes!" 

Heero was heard muttering behind the door. 

"Crazy obsessive freak...." 

"I heard that!" 

Duo pouted. Quatre patted one of Duo's shoulders comfortingly. 

" Naa... Duo, don't be upset. It's OK!!" 

"Just a little more... I would've touched it!" 

"Duo!" Quatre said with an exasperated sigh. 

Duo look at Quatre. 

"Haven't you tried that with Trowa?" 

Quatre's face turned bright red. 

"No! I wouldn't do something like THAT to Trowa!" 

"Come on! It's in ALL the fanfics! YOU LIKE TROWA!" 

* * * * * * * * 

Inside, the remaining pilots tried to get some sleep. Unfortunately, they were having no success thanks to the continuous chatter from the two outside. 

* * * * * * * * 

Over a short period of time, Duo and Quatre had managed to talk about a large variety of subjects. Most, or rather ALL, surrounding Heero and Trowa, and some including the evilness of Relena. 

"And the way she screams!!!!" 

"Uh...Duo..." Quatre interrupted. 

"Hm?" 

"I'm thirsty." 

Duo almost facefaulted. 

"Hai, hai." 

So... Duo and Quatre proceeded to the kitchen. 

* * * * * * * * 

Inside the room all three pilots sighed in relief, faced with the possibly of getting some sleep. A period of silence passed. Then more silence passed. For some reason, (cough, cough) Heero and Trowa could not sleep. But Wufei was happily snoring in his corner. 

Not able to stand it any longer, Trowa rose from his place. 

"Where are you going?" Heero asked. 

"Um... to get some water." Trowa replied, kawai-ly trying to think fast. 

"... I think I'll get some too." 

As they walked to the kitchen, Heero contemplated. 

"You really don't want water, do you?" 

"What do you mean?" Trowa responded. 

"You missed it, too." 

"Missed what?" 

"You missed them tal-" 

With that, Heero was cut off by a yelp from the kitchen, which happened to be Quatre. Trowa (recognizing the high-pitched voice) ran the rest of the way to the kitchen. 

"Oww! That's hot!" 

"Saa-saa, Quatre! That'll leave a mark! Here, hold it under cold water." 

Heero caught up to Trowa, and the two stood, eavesdropping. 

(The two pilots in the kitchen, oblivious to the two outside, returned to their previous conversation. 

"Well, I'm still worried about Heero...." 

"I know. I feel the same way about Trowa...." 

Trowa and Heero exchanged looks and leaned closer. 

"Well, I guess since justice boy is in there with them...." 

"Yes. But so many fanfics stick Trowa and Heero together!!" 

Trowa and Heero's eyes widened simultaneously, and then two backed away from each other. They both made grimaces of disgust. Inside, Duo laughed softly and whispered to Quatre. 

"We got 'em back, ne Quatre?" 

"What are you talking about, Duo?" 

Quatre asked confused. Duo grinned insanely. 

"Trowa and Heero are right outside, spying. They kicked us out, we got them back. They're probably deathly scared of each other now!" 

Duo whispered his explanation. Unfortunately for "Shinigami", he didn't whisper quite low enough. The ears of Heero Yuy and Trowa Barton caught the comment. Heero's eyes narrowed. 

"Trick me, will he? We'll show him!" 

Trowa raised an eyebrow. 

"How?" 

Heero grinned, mimicking Duo's earlier sneer. 

* * * * * * * 

Wufei was still in his corner snoring. 

* * * * * * * 

Quatre and Duo opened the swinging door. A disgusting sight greeted their eyes. Heero and Trowa were kissing. 

"He-Heero...!" 

"Tro-Trowa...!" 

Quatre burst into tears and ran down the hall. 

"Ma-matte! Quatre!" 

Duo dashed after his crying comrade. He spared one glance over his shoulder, and saw a perfectly serious Heero holding one finger up on one hand and one on the other. Duo spat in his direction. 

"Bastards, keeping score! This is a declaration of war. Damn them!" 

* * * * * * * 

Quatre was sitting with his knees drawn up. 

"Daijobu?" Duo came up trying to comfort him. 

"Trowa was... Trowa was..." 

"Quatre, they were just messing with us!!" Then, Duo got one of his special insane grins. 

"We'll get them back though!" 

* * * * * * * 

With their work (revenge) done Heero and Trowa started down the hall back to their room. Trowa looked in the direction Quatre ran off in, *feeling guilty*. 

"Come on, Trowa." 

"But what about..." 

"He deserves it." 

"But..." 

"Come on!" 

With that, Trowa continued hesitantly down back to the room. For some reason, the two fell into a deep sleep (other than for obvious plot purposes) and didn't seem to notice when Duo and Quatre snuck in and left with all of their and Wufei's clothes ( Wufei for kicking them out), and return outside with gasoline and a lighter. 

A flash of light was followed by maniacal laughter, mainly coming from Duo. This woke up our sleeping beauties, except Wufei (he woke up but he's no beauty). 

As they got up they noticed they were (bwahahaha!) nude and their covers were gone. Well, Wufei still had his boxers because neither Quatre nor Duo had any interest in taking them off. 

Wufei screamed frantically in a high pitched, feminine way. 

Heero saw a piece of paper on the floor reading "touche". 

With that he ran to the window peering down on an extremely happy Duo and a somewhat smug Quatre. 

"Ha! That isn't how you spell touche!!!" 

Trowa joined him at the window. 

"Um...yeah, it is." 

Heero, if he was anyone other than Heero, blushed. 

"Well, it isn't over yet!" 

Wufei sulked in the corner. 

"Yes, it isn't over yet!" 

He smiled evilly. 

Duo looked Heero over and whistled. 

"I never did like that spandex! It doesn't do ya justice!" 

Quatre and Trowa both turned an extremely bright red, while Wufei rampaged around the room. 

Suddenly Heero and Trowa turned around, facing Wufei. 

Behind Duo could be heard yelling. 

"Nice butts!" 

Quatre's face remained bright red. 

Realization dawning in Wufei's mind, he shrieked like a girl and ran for dear life with Heero and Trowa in hot persuit. 

"Gimme your shorts!" 

The two nude-ies yelled in unison. 

Wufei screamed back. 

"Rape! Raaaaaaaaape! Stay away! Away! You yaoi perverts!" 

Heero turned valley-girlish, for the simple fact that it's funny. 

"As if! The only person who wants you is Treize! Get a life, girlfriend!" 

Trowa turned to Heero, still chasing the elusive Wufei. 

"I thought he was with Lady Une." 

Wufei glanced over his shoulder. 

"No! He's with Zechs!" 

Outside, Quatre and Duo sweatdroped. 

"They're crazy." 

"A--aah." 

* * * * * * * * 

"We need a plan." 

Heero nodded in agreement to Trowa's statement, then glanced at the two figures outside the window putting out the fire. The three pilots sitting in the living room, towels wrapped around Heero and Trowa's waists. 

Wufei grinned. 

"It's easy. We'll lock them out." 

Trowa frowned. 

"It's supposed to get into the negative temperatures tonight. They might freeze!" 

"they're Gundam pilots. They'll survive one night." 

Heero stood. 

"Mission acknowledged." 

Heero crossed the room and locked the door. 

Wufei looked pensive. 

"That isn't enough punishment. We should drop water on them." 

Trowa shrugged in agreement. 

"They did burn my favorite lion boxers..." 

"Exactly! We're in agreement than?" 

"Hai!" 

The three boys stood and headed into the kitchen. 

* * * * * * * * * 

The last embers died out. Quatre shivered. 

"Ne, Duo. Let's go in. I'm cold." 

"Hai." 

Upon reaching the door, Duo found it imposible to open. 

"Damn you!!!!! Let us in!!!!!!" 

Heero leaned out of the window directly above the door and smirked. A sheet of cold water followed. 

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" 

The two boys looked up, shock written on their faces. Trowa and Wufei joined Heero laughing. Quatre's eyes teared up, and soon he was bawling. It was a sight to melt any heart. 

"Trowa! How could you do this to me!?!?!" 

Trowa looked really upset. 

"Trowa! Trowaaaaaa!!!" 

Trowa looked like he was going to be sick to his stomach. 

"*sniff-cry-sniff* Trowa... I never thought... you could be so cruel..." 

Trowa looked ready to hang himself. 

"Sayonara, Trowa." 

Quatre and Duo turned starting to head away when Trowa's towel drifted down. Quatre caught it, but refused to look at Trowa. When the two wet boys turned down the corner, Quatre burst out laughing. 

"Sugoi, Quatre! That was such a great act! AND! We gain another point AND a towel! Sugoi!" 

Quatre blushed modestly as the two ducked into the toolshed. As the two dried off, Quatre posed a question. 

"What's our next plan of action?" 

Duo glanced at some paint can in the corner. 

"I think I have an idea..." 

* * * * * * * * 

Duo and Quatre had taken the paint cans that they found to the gundam hanger with them, and evil plan imprinted in their minds. 

* * * * * * * * 

Trowa dropped to the floor in an automatic sulking mode. 

"Qu...Quatre!!" 

Wufei glared at Trowa 

"This is war!!! No time for sulking!!" 

"But... but..." Trowa's head dropped again. "But Quatre." 

"That's what he deserves!" Wufei replied, not reaching Trowa through his cloud of misery. 

* * * * * * * 

Meanwhile, Quatre was happily (I mean esthetically) painting "Trowa loves Quatre" right across Heavyarms in VERY VERY large PINK letters. 

Duo was doing the same on Wing. The nice BIG, PINK letters reading "Heero loves Duo". 

With that done the two stood in front of shenlong. 

"So..." 

Began Duo, turned to face Quatre. 

"A nice BIG smiley face!" 

Quatre finished all-to-excitedly. 

"Right on its chest!" 

Duo added. 

"And we name it...FRED!" Duo and Quatre announced in unison. 

They accomplished their dirty deed, "Operation Fred", giggling the entire time. Then, they dug up a Polaroid camera (no, I haven't forgotten it's AC 195) and took pictures of their handy-work. 

Their clothes, which they had hung out, were now dry and the two re-dressed and returned house. 

* * * * * * * * 

Heero and Wufei snapped Trowa out of his depression, just as a certain long-haired pilot's voice began to call from outside. 

"Heero! Ne~e, Heero! Heero!" 

Heero stuck his head out the window with an annoyed expression. And got hit in the face with a snow ball. Duo flashed a grin. 

"What do you want, Duo?" 

Duo, suppressing the urge to reply "you", waved the recently taken shots. Quatre called up. 

"No, the question is 'what do you want?'" 

Heero narrowed his eyes. 

"What are those?" 

"Wouldn't you like to know? Well, they _might_ be pictures of your freshly repainted gundams..." 

"Na-nani!?!" 

Duo's grin grew wider. 

"Hey, this is war, right? 'All is fair in love and war'?" 

"Give me those photos!" 

"Send someone for negotiations, and maybe," interjected Quatre, "we'll be willing to compromise." 

"Fine," Heero growled, "your territory or ours?" 

"Yours. Living room." 

"Fine." 

* * * * * * * 

Quatre and Duo strode into the house. And into the living room. They were greeted by the sight of a stern looking Heero and an depressed looking Trowa. 

"Where's Wufei?" Quatre asked. 

"Upstairs sulking. He said he refused to 'talk to the barbarians'," Trowa replied. 

Duo nodded and he and Quatre sat. 

"What do you want?" 

Heero growled. 

"We want a few rules. We want back in this house. And we want everyone restricted to the house till this war is won." 

Trowa shook his head. 

"Those are unreasonable requests." 

Quatre stood. 

"Then we're going." 

"Matte", said Heero. 

Quatre sat back down. 

Heero looked sullenly between Quatre and Duo. 

"Give us five minutes of discussion. We'll give you our decision then." 

The usually talkative pair simply nodded their consent. 

5 minutes later... 

Heero approached his "enemies". 

"We've reached our conclusion. We will allow you to have half of the first floor, in exchange for the photos. In addition we will agree to your boundary lines." 

Heero got glomped by Duo. 

"Saaa... arigato Heero!" 

"Get off of me! We're supposed to be enemies!" 

Quatre handed the photos to Trowa. With a smile, he said, 

"Thank you for your coaporation. And would you please get off of our territory?" 

Trowa and Heero nodded agreement and left. 

Quatre and Duo laughed happily. 

* * * * * * * 

"What!?! You traded away half of downstairs for 3 crumby photographs!?!?!" 

"But Wufei! Look what they did to our Gundams!!" 

Wufei took the picture of Nataku and collapsed from the shock. Heero took one glance at him and made a diagnosis. He'd been decommissioned for the rest of the war. 

"It's just you and me now... Barton." 

"What's our next move?" 

"Booby-trap the downstairs area." 

* * * * * * * 

"Wai! Lets go eat something! Ya know, in celebration!" 

"Duo, do you ever think about anything besides your stomach?" 

"Heero!" Duo replied with a wide grin. 

Quatre just sighed. The two stepped into the hallway. Duo promptly tripped. 

"Ahhhhh!!!" 

And screamed as several raw eggs hit him. 

"Duo! You ok!?!" Quatre started forward but tripped himself. A large quantity of paint fell right on him, splattering all over the place. His *slightly* (author1: cough, cough) higher pitched voice echoed Duo's. 

"Ahhh!!!!" 

Heero and Trowa's crazed laughter resounded down the hall. 

"Omae-tachi..." 

Duo stood, wiping the eggs out of his eyes. 

Quatre also stood, following Duo to the kitchen to clean up. 

* * * * * * 

"Well, I didn't want to have to do this, but..." 

"We're going to do operation seduction, right?" 

"I'm sorry Quatre." 

"It's ok. We have to win this war, right?" 

* * * * * * 

A knock was heard. Heero and Trowa looked at each other. Trowa stood and opened the door. He blinked in surprise. Quatre was standing outside, head bowed. He glanced up at Trowa, a hesitant smile on his lips. 

"Trowa? Can the two of us... discuss negotiations?" 

Trowa turned, looking at Heero. Heero nodded, and the boy with odd bang(s?) exited his headquarters. 

* * * * * * 

The two boys sat in the darkened room. Quatre leaned forward placing one hand on Trowa's bare chest ('member they burned their clothes.hehehe!) 

"Ne, Trowa. Lets forget this 'war'. Can't the two of us be friends?" 

(author1: laughs silently and mouths the words to "I'll be your friend") 

"Qu-Quatre..." 

Quatre smiled, then leaned forward to brush a kiss against Trowa's unresisting lips. Just then, Duo jumped out of the shadows and quickly bound uni-bang boy. 

"Quatre! You knew about this!?!" 

Quatre turned to Trowa, smiling sadly. He leaned forward and kissed Trowa deeply. 

"Gomen Trowa. I really wouldn't mind being your 'friend'." (author1: *cat-calls* Go Quatre!!!!). 

Trowa struggled against his bounds fruitlessly. Duo grinned. 

"No getting out of those, man. They're gundainium." 

The pair shoved Trowa in a closet and locked the door. Duo held up a tiny score board. 

[Big talkers: 7] [Evil bastards who kicked us out:3] 

* * * * * * 

Heero turned at the sound of the computers beeping. 

He rose, then read the instructions the screen flashed. 

"Ryoukai Kanryou." 

* * * * * * 

Duo giggled. 

"I can't believe he fell for that!" 

Quatre smiled and prodded Duo. 

"Come on. We have to hurry, otherwise Heero will get out and try to complete that false mission orders. 

"Hai, hai." 

* * * * * * 

Heero headed for the front door. As Heero touched the door knob the two closet doors right next to the door flew open. Duo leapt ontop of Heero holding him to the ground with his hands behind his back. 

"Quatre, hurry!" 

"Hai!" 

With that they tied Heero as tight as possible so he had no chance of getting loose. 

* * * * * * 

Heero and Trowa had been laid down on a bed next to each other. Duo sat on the edge next to Heero and Quatre sat next to Trowa, discussing surrender terms. 

* * * * * * 

Meanwhile. The evil being that curses in his sleep slowly awakens from his slumber. When he rose he noticed that the room was empty. 

"Nani?" Wufei said while looking around. His eyes widened in memory of the photo of his beloved Nataku. 

"Kisama!" He clenched his fists going in search of the bastards that dared to defile his Nataku. When he finally found his comrades he spat in disgust. 

* * * * * * 

"C'mon! Don't be so stubborn!" Duo said looking down at Heero. Quatre was about to reprimand his comrade, but he stopped as Duo was jerked back. 

"Duo!" Quatre proclaimed in surprise. 

"Release them! Now!" Wufei practically yelled holding his sword to the base of Duo's braid. "Or the hair goes!" 

"AAHH!!" Duo proclaimed trying his best to keep his hair intact. "Quatre don't do it!" 

"But, Duo!" 

"Wufei wouldn't dare!" 

"Oh!?" Wufei said looking at Duo evilly, lowering the sword. 

"But Wufei!" Quatre said, staring at Wufei in surprise. "Wufei! It's unjust!" 

Wufei loosened the slightest bit, and unreadable look crossing his face. That slightest bit was enough for Duo to turn around and trip him, knocking China-boy to the ground. With that, Quatre jumped across the bed and did his best to hold Wufei down while Duo grabbed another rope. Between the two, they hog-tied the evil Wufei. 

Duo and Quatre had finally managed to get Wufei on the bed along with Heero and Trowa. 

"Now that we have everyone here I guess we can finish negotiations." Quatre said, angelically smiling down at them. 

With satisfaction and a smug smile Duo spoke 

"I believe I'll get that snack now," Duo strolled down the hall to the kitchen, gleefully hoping over cracked eggs and [postsprung] booby traps. He made his way to the fridge, taking the pizza bites out of the freezer, unwrapping them and putting them into the toaster. He began to pour himself a big glass of sprite. Behind him, the pizza bites caught fire. He turned around with his glass, saw the burning toaster and screamed. 

"Quatre! Quatreeeeeeeeeee!" 

* * * * * * 

Quatre flipped channels and stops on a telecast of Relena. 

"I'm looking for this boy, Heero Yuy, who wants to tell me... the first time I met him, he..." Heero 's eyes expanded to the size of dinner plates, and he fell off the bed, curling up into a ball. Quatre panicked and changed the channel to Teletubies. All the hostages began yelling and curling into fetal positions. 

"Quatre! Quatre!" Duo called from the kitchen. "The pizza bites are on fire!" Quatre ran from the TV room. 

"Not the pizza bites! Those are 6 months old!" Wufei grabbed his chance. He rolled off the bed and over to where his sword lay on a table. He knocked the table over so it fell on the floor near his head. Using his mouth to hold the sword he cut his bounds. 

"How did you do that?" Trowa asked. 

"No time for you now, Barton." Wufei ran from the room, cursing all the way. In the kitchen, Duo and Quatre, fanning off the toaster, stopped as a breeze of air blew past them carrying upon it quiet cursing. Duo and Quatre looked at each other and shivered. 

* * * * * * 

Wufei ran to the attic where he began tearing through old trunks. [Paggliacci music in the background]. He stops at one trunk and begins to paint war designs on his face and chest. 

"The hunt is ooooonnnnnnnn.." 

Wufei smiled psychotically, eyes (and forehead) shinning unnaturally. 

"They will pay...." 

* * * * * * 

The hostages struggled with their bonds. 

"How come Wufei got out of his?" Trowa finally asked. Heero shrugged. 

"He had normal ropes. Ours are made out of gundainium." 

* * * * * * 

Wufei held a flashlight up to the electrical box. He opened it and pulled the cables out. 

* * * * * * 

Heero lay on his stomach while Trowa cut at Heero's ropes with Wufei's sword. 

"Hurry, Trowa, only one more minute until Barney comes on!" Trowa spat out the sword. 

"It's not going to work, it's Gundainium." 

"I don't care! Anything to get away from Barney!" The Barney music began playing. Heero and Trowa's eyes open wider and wider. Then, the power went off. The hostages sighed in relief. 

* * * * * * 

"I have a bad feeling about this, Duo..." 

"Yeah, better get the-" 

The lights went out abruptly. 

"AAAHHHH!!!!" Duo and Quatre glomped onto eachother, screaming. 

"Wufei's going to kill us all!" yelled Duo. 

"Trowa, I'm sorry! I didn't know it would end with Wufei hunting us for sport!" Duo tried to calm him down. 

"Now, Quatre, in times like this, we must stand strong." The heard a creek and glomped back onto eachother. 

* * * * * * 

Quatre and Duo, now armed with a flashlight, began to move about the house, keeping mobile to better their odds against meeting Wufei. 

"I bet he won't look for us in the attic!" 

"Duo, are you sure we want to go to the attic? It's practically Wufei's room, he's up there so much." 

They entered the attic cautiously. Duo shown the light on the walls. Scribbled on them were threats like "Die, you bastards" and other things written in Chinese. Duo and Quatre hugged eachother and screamed girlishly. 

"Heero! Taskete!" 

"I want Trowa!" Duo grinned. 

"I know that, Quatre." 

"NOT like that, baka!" 

Just then, the door handle turned. Duo and Quatre gripped each other, tighter. Duo whispered. "I-it's him! What'll we do!?!" 

Quatre looked around. 

"In here!" he pulled Duo into the closet. Heero and Trowa came up the stairs and began looking in trunks. 

"I know there are some old clothes in here somewhere," Heero said. 

"Yeah, Wufei's always putting crap up here." 

"How'd they get free?" Duo, inside of the closet, whispered. 

Quatre shrugged and bumped into something. He turned around and saw a box filled with crap. 

"Hey, look at this, Duo," he whispered. "This box is filled with pictures..." 

"Hey, yeah... this is one of a naked Treize! What the F#ck?" 

"And here's one of... Heero taking a shower. Eewww." 

"Wait a minute, I've been looking for that! Uh... I mean, what's THAT doing in there?" Duo looked around nervously. Quatre kept digging. 

"We're all in here! There's even one of Trowa in his Lion boxers..." Duo smiled. 

"Heh, heh, is that one of yours?"

Quatre looked shocked. 

"I should say not..." _But it soon will be_, he thought. "Umm, are they gone?" Duo looked through the slits. 

"Yeah, lets go." 

The sound of the door opening again stopped them. Wufei's voice echoed throughout the room. 

"Kisama! I will get them!" 

Duo and Quatre shrank against the back of the closet. A book knocked off the top shelf and hit Duo in the head. 

"Itetetete!" 

"Shh!" 

Fortunately, Wufei was too rapped up in his revenge plans to notice. Quatre shined the light on the book. Both boys in the closet sweat dropped and mouth the words 'The Joy of Cooking' to themselves in shock. They then heard Wufei swear loudly in Chinese, then say, "I'm hungry, I wonder what I should eat, time to consult the 'bible'..." Duo and Quatre looked at eachother as Wufei approached. They struggled with eachother to get furthest away from the door. In doing so, they ran further and further back into the walls of the house. 

"Where are we?" 

"I'm scared, Duo! Trowa!" Wufei's voice echoed after them. 

"My pictures are all out of order! Who's back there!?! Cowards!!!" 

"Run faster, Quatre!" They ran through the insulation, but they fell through a secret passage. Duo and Quatre screamed as they tumbled down the passage, and spilled out of a trap door on the first floor. Upstairs, they could hear Wufei screaming like Godzilla. They shivered. 

"Well, who do we have here?" Duo and Quatre looked up to see Heero and Trowa standing over them. Duo and Quatre began laughing and giggling uncontrollably. 

"These were the only clothes we could find," said Trowa. 

They giggled more. at the explanation. Heero and Trowa stood above them in a pink tutu and lederhosen. 

"But why is Heero wearing the tutu?" Trowa explained. 

"I have certain... information about Heero. This guarantees I'll keep quite." Duo sobered. 

"What kind of information?" Heero frowned and tried not to look at anybody. All of a sudden, Wufei was heard screaming and bounding down the stairs. Heero and Trowa jumped back into the shadows. Duo and Quatre hugged eachother,huddling in a pool of light from the window. 

"HEERO!!" 

"TROWA!!" 

Wufei came into the room. 

"Now you must die!!" Wufei brandished his sword. Just then the sun peeked over the horizon. Light flooded into the room onto Wufei. He covered his eyes, hissed, and ran into another room. 

"We're saved! Heero!!" Duo dove into the darkness at the last known position of Heero. "Where's they go?" 

A commotion in the next room drew their attention. The two ran in to find Hero, Trowa, and Wufei locked in battle. Heero and Wufei grappled on the ground as Trowa tried to get a lock on Wufei with his gun. Wufei broke free from Heero, rushed Trowa and knocked him off his feet. He fired and missed nearly grazing Heero. 

"Trowa!!" Quatre ran to Trowa. "Are you ok?" 

"Yes, I'm fine," he got up but Quatre looked at his hand. 

"You have a scrape!" Quatre turned to Wufei. "Die, Wufei!!" He jumped on him and pummeled him with punches. 

"You almost shot Heero!!" Duo faced Trowa, then lunged toward him. Heero restrained him as Trowa stood calmly. Wufei and Quatre rolled across the room, catching Trowa in the fighting. Duo broke out of Heero's hold and jumped into the fray. Heero followed suit. 

Just then the door opened. The boys stopped and looked up. Dr. J stood in the door. 

"What the F#ck? What in the world are you doing?!? The other doctors and myself have been trying to contact you all morning, but the phone was dead! You have a mission, remember???" 

The boys, still frozen, glanced at each other, looking ashamed. Dr. J 'humphed'. 

"What a worthless lot! Go out and get your Gundams ready. And you better be launched in the next 15 minutes or its strait fics for a month!" 

Four of the five boys' eyes widened. All of them, minus the un-compelled Wufei, hurried out the door. Wufei leaned against the wall and grinned. 

"That doesn't affect me, old man." 

Dr. J's eyes narrowed. 

"Go now, or you have to do three way fics with Zechs and Trieze for the next _three_ months..." 

Wufei muttered something under his breath and disappeared out the door. Dr. J grinned. 

********epilogue****** 

"OOOoooh! I cannot continue to fight with Nataku thus defiled!!" 

The five boys were up against a multitude of Leos. A chuckling voice came in to Wufei across the com-unit. 

"Don't worry about getting them, Wu-chan. With that smiley face, the enemy will just laugh themselves to death!" 

"Maaaaa~aaaxwellllll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 


End file.
